The people who come to me are curious to get to know themselves in a deeper away. I work with those who want to reflect on complex trauma histories, relationship patterns, intergenerational family dynamics, and intersecting aspects of their identities. I strive to create a safer space by attending to how systems of power (with respect to race, gender, class, sexuality, ability, among others) shape identities and relationships and how this may emerge between us. In the section below, I describe some examples of what we could work on together.
Areas of Focus
Interrupting unhelpful patterns: You get caught in dynamics—with family, friends, and partners, and at work—which feel uncomfortable and frustrating, yet perhaps familiar. You engage in the same patterns for reasons that elude you. Or you have some awareness of what is playing out, but remain stuck in cycles of repetition. Together, we can work toward both short-term and long-term change.
Healing your relationships: Whether I see you in individual or couples therapy, I use an attachment-based lens when it comes to thinking about you and your relationship dynamics. Together, we slow things down in order to gain an deeper understanding of what plays out and gets evoked, and what vulnerable feelings are in the mix. With this knowledge and my support, you can explore communicating in new ways both inside and outside the therapy room.
Coming home to yourself: Somewhere along the way, you may have learned to keep your emotional world zipped up. This was necessary and even beneficial in the past: kept intolerable memories, thoughts, and feelings at bay, and helped you endure and achieve a whole lot. You may call yourself a perfectionist. But this comes at a bitter cost, leaving you exhausted and depleted. You show a false version of yourself to the world, even to those you care about the most. You are ready to live more authentically, but are not sure where to begin.
Building self-confidence: You tend to rely on external validation and outside ideas when it comes to what you should do, think, and feel. You struggle with trusting your own thoughts and making your own decisions. This lack of confidence can leave you feeling stuck and unable to make the changes that need, want, and deserve.
Setting healthier boundaries: Expressing your needs can feel complicated. On some level, it seems that to be lovable or good enough, you should not have any needs at all. You can make your needs smaller and smaller to accommodate and please others, but this is not sustainable in the long run. You may find yourself lashing out, or turn inward and want to disappear entirely. With me, you can work on putting yourself first, setting boundaries, and saying no.
Queer identity development: Even in the Bay Area, finding your place in the heteronormative and cisnormative world as a queer person can be challenging. You long for community, meaningful relationships, and representation, and feel that something is missing. Processing thoughts, feelings, and experiences related to your sexuality and/or gender identity is an important part of figuring out who you are and who you want to become.
Living as an immigrant in the United States: Your immigration story may begin with you, your parents, or grandparents. You may know that your immigration involved multiple traumas and losses that you want to address. Immigration is a life-altering event with numerous subsequent impacts on intergenerational family dynamics, sense of self, ideas of home and belonging, and much more. Together, we can reflect on your unique narrative in a sociopolitical context.
Intersections of queer and immigrant experience: In my view, queer identities are shaped in response (and opposition) to experiences of affirmation and rejection in the family and social context. As a queer person and immigrant (or child of immigrants), you may feel like an outsider on multiple fronts, and wish for a space to make sense of your experiences.